Full Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse

Tonight’s full moon in Pisces is all about intuition, dreams, and emotions. It’s the perfect time for spiritual insight and to align inner feelings with outer life. It’s also a lunar eclipse which brings about major turning points, dramatic conclusions, and huge revelations. It is a potent time to embrace the cycle of renewal and evolution.

This summer as a whole has been hugely transformational for me. The most recent new moon energy was intense. And the past week leading up to tonight’s full moon has been emotionally taut. So many things are coming to a head, so many shifts and changes. In who I am, where I’m at in life, what I will am allowing to fall away. What I will no longer tolerate.

There have been some incredible signs from nature. Fireflies lighting up the woods behind my house with their magical, dancing lights. Butterflies and dragonflies everywhere. Moths and the random findings of wings. And beautiful feathers. Transformation. Metamorphosis. The time to take flight. Signs from Spirit I am on the right path. I am with the right people.

Reciprocal relationships are everything to me now. I no longer pour endlessly into a relationship that is one sided. I notice when I am being manipulated. When I am being used. I’m not great at it, it’s been a gradual improvement for me. One I have to work hard at. I am naïve in many ways because I want to believe others are good. And I don’t really get the whole neurotypical human interaction of being deceitful or pretending to like someone when you don’t. Honesty is something I live by; I don’t really have a choice. I am a horrible liar!

Communication is so important to me. I don’t want to have to guess at how someone feels or what they think. If I screw up, I want to know. If I hurt someone’s feelings, I want to know. If I do something weird (yeah, that one is a given) and it makes someone uncomfortable, I want to know. I’ve spent way too many years of my life over-analyzing and picking apart interactions, trying to figure out if I did something wrong. I studied psychology and human behavior so I could have a better understanding of how people work. Alas, not everyone conforms to textbook rules. I’ve lived with my heart on my sleeve, arms wide open, honest to a fault. I cannot even begin to recall the amount of times I was open about the way someone made me feel, only to be told I should not feel that way. For a long time I stopped. I closed myself off. I pretended everything was fine, even when it wasn’t. Because the alternative was losing people. And I’m so rejection sensitive that I didn’t want to risk that. Losing someone equated to something be wrong with me.

But I’ve realized now that if I lose someone for being honest, it isn’t a true relationship. Not one I should be invested in. Because I AM invested in my relationships. I fall hard for people, and I love hard, and that scares many people off. But it’s who I am. And I am done changing myself to a watered-down version of my true essence just so other’s will like me. I am not broken. I am not wrong. I am different, eccentric, a mover and shaker, unable to be contained. Unable to be tamed. And I am ready to fully embrace that and stop hiding from the world.