Why The Stutter?

My youngest son spoke differently right from the start. Initially we didn’t think much of it. He was not quite a year old and although his choice of words for everyday objects were unique, for the most part we understood what he wanted. As he grew from a crawling one-year-old to a toddling two-year-old, then a running-around-as-fast-as-his-legs-could-carry-him three-year-old, his speech seemed to get slightly clearer some days, then drastically worse. I spent the most time with him and was therefore able to decipher his babbles the best, but there were times I was clueless to what he was trying to tell me. He would get so frustrated he would scream and cry and throw himself on the floor. I felt awful, but also frustrated and at a loss of how to help. I thought as he got a little older his words would make more sense. I was wrong.

            Although the doctor said there was still hope, as the years passed his speech became increasingly rushed and garbled, and I could barely make sense of it. By age five it became clear that his speech problem was not going to be outgrown. He began speech therapy but had little to no success. Not only did he stutter and trip over his words, but he spoke so loud and fast it was impossible for me, or anyone else, to interpret.

After Kindergarten my little guy really began to struggle in school. He couldn’t sit still and pay attention, he could not complete the work, and on top of that he was unable to verbalize any of it. As a parent you don’t want your child to hurt. You want to help fix their problems. I made the decision to homeschool so that I could help him learn in a way that would make sense for him. But I couldn’t do anything about his stutter. Despite private speech therapy, it was just too hard for him to focus and slow down enough to use the fluency techniques he was being taught. He would get so upset when his words didn’t come out right that he would hit himself in the face and cry “Stupid mouth, stupid brain!”

My youngest’s self-esteem and self-confidence became so low there was a period where he refrained from speaking very much outside the home. Thankfully it was short-lived, but interactions with others did not help his self-esteem any. Kids sometimes laughed at and teased him. Even adults made faces, and some ignored him completely when he tried speaking to them. It hurt my heart tremendously to see him struggle so much just to communicate. I wanted to scream at the people who wouldn’t give him the time of day to try to get out what he wanted to say. But I reminded myself that most people were not trying to be mean, they just didn’t understand.

It is estimated that about 1% of the world’s population stutters and it is more common among males than females. Stuttering is a speech pattern involving disruptions in a person’s speech and it can vary significantly over time. Sometimes there will be periods where the stutter seems to go away, only to have it return. Some days it can be much worse than others--this variability is normal. People who stutter are not doing so because they are nervous or shy. Stuttering is not a habit that can be broken, it is a neurological condition. And most importantly, in my opinion, although stuttering is associated with differences in the brain, it does not have anything to do with a person’s intelligence.

When I realized that the stuttering and bumpy speech were going to be a lifelong issue for my youngest, I began to educate myself and him. But knowing the facts only helped so much. I realized I needed to find a role model for him that he could relate to. I tried to find books, TV shows, and movies that showed other people with a stutter, in hopes it would help improve his confidence and self-esteem. But guess what? Finding a character with a stutter or speech impediment that is not portrayed in a negative way was close to impossible. I found two books that had a background character with a stutter, and in both of those books the character was described as annoying.

That’s where the idea for a book series featuring a main character with a stutter came from and why I initially decided to create the character Otter from A Home Called Haven Series. When I had the book critiqued before publishing, I was told the stuttering was too much and I should tone it down or take it out. I read the book aloud to both of my boys and they loved it, especially my youngest. He was so overjoyed to have a character just like him, and the stuttering part was his favorite. There was no way I could remove it.

For some the stutter may be hard to read, for some it may even be annoying. But just like any other disability, a stutter or speech impediment has every right to be in a book. There are children out there who need to read it. Children who have peers with a stutter and need to learn how to empathize with them. And especially children who stutter and struggle to get their words out that need a character to look up to; a character that talks just like them.