Social Media Woes

Social media, where do I even begin?

It’s meant to bring people together, help others connect, keep in touch, share and like. But often it does the exact opposite. In fact, it can feel like a middle school popularity contest.  And it’s addictive. Something akin to Pavlov’s dogs as we check to see how many likes or comments our latest status update has gotten. Feel good endorphins lighting up when someone has reacted positively, shared your message, complimented your talents. Or the exact opposite, a drastic dive of mood into the lowest depths and thoughts of unworthiness when no one seems to have noticed.

Maybe this is just my own personal experience but somehow, I doubt that. Because let’s not lie, it feels really good when you connect with others, when you’re seen, when people “like” –or even better, “heart” – what you have to say.

Perhaps most people have thicker skin than I. Maybe they don’t care when their posts go unnoticed. Maybe they don’t feel the twist in their gut that they aren’t liked or worthy of other’s acknowledgement. My self-worth is tangled up in how others treat me a bit too much. I’m aware of that and working on it. But don’t we all just want to be liked, accepted, seen, and understood? I think that is part of the human condition. We are social creatures.

So why does social media make us feel so inadequate?

As an author I am expected to post and share regularly. Agents and traditional publishers want prospective clients to have a decent social media following and online presence. This places enormous pressure on introverted people. And I’m fairly certain most authors are introverts. We work alone on our computers, engrossed in other realities created by our imaginations, often to the point of shutting out the rest of the world as we toil away desperately trying to get the story out as quickly as our minds demand it be told.

To be honest I’d much rather live my life face-to-face, present in each moment, enjoying meaningful and personal interactions. At least when not writing. Like above paragraph stated, that’s a whole other reality. But it is required for my career that I market, promote, interact, post, post, post.

One day I will learn to turn off that nagging doubt in my mind, questioning if I am good enough, and not care what kind of following or social media reactions I garner. Until then I’ll just keep sharing what I feel called to share and hope that the right people will see it. And maybe even offer up a “heart.”